I was mad. Blinded by rage. Blinded by confusion. Blinded by the majority's chanting.
I will not be a cog in the wheel.
I broke a promise to a good friend today. A friend of mine from several years ago apparently is on my server. I will not mention her name on here, but she plays a Hunter as an alt to her Prot Warrior. She is also a Marksman, as am I.
I vowed to her that I would not crumble under the pressure to become BM, just as she would not from the pressure from her guild's Hunters.
She hasn't been on for about two weeks. I think it was her lack of reinforcement and encouragement that made the lapse in audacity possible.
I will not be the Judas of the Hunter forums. I will not betray that which I believe for my own gain and some false vision of happiness and acceptance.
There are Hunters all over Azeroth and Outland shackled to the chains of Beast Mastery who long for the freedom of Marksmanship. I cannot betray them. Alumatine says the world is not black and white - he's right, but who will listen to a champion for a cause who's turning his back on the cause? It's hypocrisy, what I had planned on doing. I will engage in no such thing.
Another thing that got me thinking was this MSN conversation with Mirshalak.
(2008-04-03 15:22:03) Mirshalak: something else to consider tho...
(2008-04-03 15:22:11) Mirshalak: you know about Big Red Kitty?
(2008-04-03 15:22:23) Rilgon: The blog, yes, the person, no.
(2008-04-03 15:22:39) Mirshalak: the author of that blog would tell you not to be BM
(2008-04-03 15:22:51) Mirshalak: he's told other people to spec Marks because they were more suited to it
(2008-04-03 15:22:55) Mirshalak: and he could see that
(2008-04-03 15:22:59) Rilgon: Really.
(2008-04-03 15:23:01) Mirshalak: yes
(2008-04-03 15:23:18) Mirshalak: his forums also have sections for all three specs
(2008-04-03 15:23:23) Mirshalak: he loves his spec...
(2008-04-03 15:23:42) Mirshalak: but when he gets people who write to him saying they want to spec differently...he tells them to do so
(2008-04-03 15:24:53) Mirshalak: because he understands...as I do...that another of the trees can be as much more powerful on paper as you like...but someone who is doing something they don't want and is in conflict is still not going to do as well with it...
(2008-04-03 15:25:00) Mirshalak: as someone who is doing what they love.
(2008-04-03 15:25:08) Mirshalak: that is more important than anything else.
Screw the disbelievers. Screw the haters. Screw the hive mind. If a guild cannot accept me for what I am, then they don't deserve my tenacity, my willingness to learn, my desire to see others happy, and my willingness to sacrifice my possessions for the greater good.
I will not err. I will not falter. I have a promise to keep, and I won't break it again.
I am a Goblin Engineer. I am a Marksman. I am a statesmen to the wild masses of the Hunter forums. I am a calculator, but I am also a cheerleader. I am arrogant, but I am benevolent.
But above all, I am me. And I will never again change myself to the greater voice. I refuse to in real life - why should my "games" be any different?
I am so sorry to everyone I disappointed this day.
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4 comments:
"William Wallace: I AM William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men... and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?
Veteran: Against that? No! We will run. And we will live.
William Wallace: Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"
-- Braveheart
Jai Kali Ma. Mother, may you know of all those who act in kin with you in retaining their own integrity, standing for the truth, further seeking their own freedom as a result, and remembering the message of your abhaya mudra; "Do not be afraid."
I'm not gonna quote literature or anything... that's what Mirsh is for. :D
It's OK, man. So what? Is anybody physically hurt because you specced BM?
Nope.
What'd you betray?
Nothing.
You were overwhelmed. You tried fighting hordes, and spreading knowledge where they didn't want it - right in their ignorant faces. Of COURSE you'll give in eventually.
Come on, no man can fight forever by himself against that crowd of dimwits... If, somehow, it was discovered that wearing a pair of pink fuzzy bunny slippers while singing the theme from Flashdance backwards raised your pet's attack speed, they'd do it in a heartbeat, and be bragging about how much pinker and fuzzier their slippers were than anybody else's.
Point is, they lucked into a good spec, and now they're playing the fool because they feel it's the only way to play.
But it's not. The mere EXISTENCE of a Survival Hunter community proves that.
No matter how much you feel pressured to, remember, there are others who play like you do. All you have to do is find them and get some support.
Now go put those damn cat jockeys to shame the way you were mean to...
-Track
You know, this is going to sound horrifically ironic, but I rather felt much the same when I decided to spec beast master, because at the time it seemed as though everybody I knew was a "BM is for noobs" Marks-devotee and I had to put up with a lot of ribbing for that =P From very good friends, no less.
You have to spec something because you like it and for no other reason. And put your heart into it and all that cheesy stuff. There's a girl in my guild, a feral cat druid, who respec'd resto because she'd get more groups that way. But she clearly hated it and we all begged her to spec back because she hated it so much. Finally she did and we're all glad she did, she's really an amazing kitty druid.
And yeah, BRK recently wrote a post where he recommended everybody spec either 0/41/20, or 0/31/30 for heroics/Kara. I didn't because I'm stubborn like that, but yeah. =P BRK is an old-timer BM like me, I think, the people who are beast mastery first and foremost for the aesthetics. It actually kinda bugs me that it did become the cookie cutter spec that it did. xP
Like the song says
"Hold your head Hiiiiiiiigh.."
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